The reason I have to learn to risk being let down...

I neglected to express how happy I was that my father came to my graduation. I think that I was stuck in trying not to be affected if he failed to showed up or not that it didn't hit me until the other day. That was really great to know, that he could see me walk across the stage and come through for me in a major way. That was the very beginning of a new start. I know it's hard to forget your past and even more hard to forget how someone made you feel but I'm trying not to hold those things over his head or carry those feelings into my relationships with people. Specifically, my relationship with Ahryn. I think that as people with faults we do that to people unintentionally and that isn't my hope. My only hope is to continue to grow through the things we go through and to nurture the seed planted July 3, 2006 at the citywide fireworks.

I find it interesting how I ask for people to not disappoint me and now that it's damn near impossible for someone to do that I'm asking that people disappoint me. Clarification: people are still doing the same hurtful or wrong shit I just don't let it affect me as hard as it would if I put energy into it and I'm asking them to change...inevitably asking the same change, whether I'm asking to be disappointed or asking to not be disappointed. Well it's cold on this balcony...so time to wrap it up! And the basketball game is on :D